Gonna try something a little different here today.
P. G. Wodehouse died 33 years ago, before the War on Terror, even before Ronald Reagan called the Soviet Union an “evil empire”. But he divined much of the silliness that we’re living under back in 1910, seven years before the Great War that caused almost all of the problems that the world is suffering from. You might know Wodehouse better for his “Jeeves” stories (if you know him at all). But I got introduced to the man recently with The Swoop!, or How Clarence Saved England: A Tale of the Great Invasion.
According to Wikipedia (which means it must be wrong – woop!), Wodehouse’s novel was a satire on the “then-popular” genre of “invasion literature“, which was all about an invading army or force landing unopposed on a nation’s shores; the name The Swoop! is apparently based on a 1909 novel about a German invasion of England called Swoop of the Vulture, which is even mentioned in this novel.
In The Swoop!, England has abolished its army, so of course it’s invaded another country – or rather, by nine other countries, who all decide to invade on the same day:
Full details were given in the Press. It seemed that while Germany was landing in Essex, a strong force of Russians, under the Grand Duke Vodkakoff, had occupied Yarmouth. Simultaneously the Mad Mullah had captured Portsmouth; while the Swiss navy had bombarded Lyme Regis, and landed troops immediately to westward of the bathing-machines. At precisely the same moment China, at last awakened, had swooped down upon that picturesque little Welsh watering-place, Lllgxtplll, and, despite desperate resistance on the part of an excursion of Evanses and Joneses from Cardiff, had obtained a secure foothold. While these things were happening in Wales, the army of Monaco had descended on Auchtermuchty, on the Firth of Clyde. Within two minutes of this disaster, by Greenwich time, a boisterous band of Young Turks had seized Scarborough. And, at Brighton and Margate respectively, small but determined armies, the one of Moroccan brigands, under Raisuli, the other of dark-skinned warriors from the distant isle of Bollygolla, had made good their footing.
(snip)
England was not merely beneath the heel of the invader. It was beneath the heels of nine invaders.
There was barely standing-room.
Now, it wouldn’t be a good invasion story without a determined resistance, right? And there is, led by the steely-eyed Clarence Chugwater – Boy of Destiny! And Boy Scout! In other words, it’s as preposterous as the football team fighting off an invading army or a lone secret agent saving the world from terrorists.
Want to know the best thing? I got this book off of Project Gutenberg, which has free books for the taking (or download). They have 20,000 books available for free and immediate download and another 80,000 or so available through their affiliates. Now, the reason they can do this is because the books are all out of copyright and are public domain, which means a) they were mostly published before Ernest Hemingway and b) they read like they were published before Ernest Hemingway.
But, hey, it’s free books. So if you’ve a hankering for Mark Twain, E. A. Budge or the Brothers Grimm, you could do worse.
The Swoop!, or How Clarence Saved England
http://www.gutenberg.org/etext/7050
(Oh, and if Wikipedia is wrong so often, why do I use it in this blog? Simple: because Encyclopædia Britannica is a pay site. It’s great if you can afford the $69.95 annual fee, sucks if you’re a part-time unpaid blogger)
One Neat Thing a Day 