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    Sean Daily is an English major from New Jersey now living in Las Vegas, the Other City of Lights. "I consider 'Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas' to be comfort reading, I like the al pastor tacos at Tacos Mexico and I count among my literary influences the Chainsaw from 'Doom'. 'RRRRRR! You don't like that, do you, Mr. Undead Marine! RRRRRR!'"

    Shanoah Alkire is our Discordian at large. "Born in Santa Cruz, I grew up in Grass Valley and the Bay Area, and now lurk in Las Vegas. My literary influences include Ray Bradbury, Lewis Carroll, and Douglas Adams. I also program as a hobby, and currently maintain the Gtk port of Angband. You can find a rather old bio of me here."

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Archive for the ‘Happy Media’ Category

3-4-10 Satan/Beelzebub: Why Vote for the Lesser of Two Evils?

Posted by Sean on March 4, 2010

Neither do I, Shanoah. I will never regret voting against Jesus/Mary McCain/Palin.

Problem is, that’s a lot of what my vote for Obama was. I stumped for the guy, I voted for the guy, but in the end my vote was largely a vote to keep John “Bomb Bomb Bomb Bomb Bomb Iran” McCain and Sarah “I’m a Yooper Even Though I’m From Alaska, You Betcha!” Palin out of the White House, not a vote to put Obama in it.

Fourteen months in and, even with majorities in both Houses, Obama hasn’t done a whole lot that impresses me. True, a lot of it was picking up the pieces from Bush and, quite frankly, a year of nothing is a refreshing change from eight years of Jesus-Christ-that-idiot-did-what-now. Still, all the changey hopey stuff that we heard about during his campaign is starting to turn into a whole lot of the same old thing.

You’re not supposed to hold your nose when you go to the polls. Maybe that’s what you have to expect, but it’s not what you’re supposed to expect.

I may be asking too much of the American voting system, though. I mean, the only candidate that I wouldn’t have serious reservations about voting for is me, and you don’t want me to be president. These would be just a few of the policies during my remarkably brief administration, which would end either in military junta or armed rebellion. [1]

  • I would replace the expensive, pointless, unethical and boring War on Terror with a War on People Named Ralph.
  • I would make Spock my science advisor and get very cranky when I’m told that he’s a fictional character.
  • I would demand that the Vatican make me Pope and then let them know, with a subtle use of nuclear weapons, what will happen if I am not made Pope.
  • I would invite Osama bin Laden and Rush Limbaugh to fight it out in a Texas steel cage death match (“Two fascist extremist ideologies enter, one fascist extremist ideology leaves.”). Sarah Palin would be the between-rounds card girl. [2]
  • I would replace the National Anthem with the Misfits’ Mommy, Can I Go Out and Kill Tonight.
  • I would make Jedi the national religion and then use my mad Force choke skeelz on anyone who even mentions “separation of church and state”.
  • I would replace the F-22 Raptor fighter jet with Veritechs and get very cranky when I’m told that they’re fictional, too.
  • I would balance the federal budget by selling Arkansas… that is, if anyone would even buy it.
  • I would replace standardized tests in our schools with “Hentai or Not Hentai?”.
  • I would frantically summon my cabinet to my SitRep Room at 3:30 a.m., then pull out a copy of Left Behind and, with a voice slurred into incomprehensibility by cheap gin, yell, “My God, have any of you read this shit?”
  • And if I don’t have a SitRep Room then dammit I’ll make a SitRep Room. It will be very Wii-intensive.
  • My bank bailouts would consist of bailing bank officials out of a plane at 50,000 feet. I might even give them parachutes.
  • My Middle East policy would consist of burning a million tons of chronic in the West Bank, then airlifting in 10 million pizzas and two million XBoxes.
  • All Americans would be forced to adopt fake Indian names. Mine would be Runs Naked Through the Woods.
  • Anyone, and I mean anyone, who tries to make more courtroom porn like Law & Order or forensics porn like CSI will earn himself a come to Jesus with the new U. S. Attorney General, Jigsaw from the Saw movies.
  • And yes, I will get very cranky when I hear that Jigsaw is also a fictional character.
  • The national language would be Huttese. Ho ho ho ho…

Barring that, I guess I could vote for these guys. Having them in charge would rawk.

Courtesy of pipes90.

[1] Dave Barry much?

[2] Try and get that image out of your mind.


Posted in From Sean, Funny, Happy Media, Politics and Other Things In Which I'm Not Qualified | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment »

Bush or Batman?

Posted by shanoah on February 24, 2010

Well, as long as we’re on the topic on Batman, you might be interested in this ‘Secret Pants Sketch Comedy’ video.

They had someone go around with a series of 30 quotes asking people to identify which were from George W. Bush, and which were from Batman in the 1960’s tv series. It’s not as easy as it sounds…

Posted in Batty, Blogs, bulldada, From Shanoah, Funny, Happy Media, I'm probably going to hell for this | Tagged: , , , | 2 Comments »

2-24-10 Orson Welles and Citizen Bat-Man

Posted by Sean on February 24, 2010

Speaking of superheroes with serious father issues and bat fetishes

You may have heard that Orson Welles was planning to make a movie based on Batman. Mark Millar broke the story here at Comic Book Resources in 2003 when his friend, movie critic Lionel Hutton, was given “unprecedented access” to Welles’ estate. Hutton discovered that, after completion of 1946’s The Stranger, Welles had begun serious planning on an adult psycho-drama, but combined with what he described as the ‘heart-racing excitement of the Saturday morning serials, given a respectable twist and a whole new style of kinetic direction unlike anything ever attempted in American cinema.'”

Welles had supposedly gotten as far as drawing production sketches, writing a treatment and draft script and even getting stars to commit to the project: “George Raft signing up for Two-Face (after Bogart turned it down), James Cagney as The Riddler, Basil Rathbone as The Joker and Welles’ former lover Marlene Dietrich as a very exotic Catwoman with the same salubrious past Miller gave the character forty years later in Batman: Year One.” It blew up because of his ego (surprise surprise). He wanted to be Batman and Bruce Wayne, but “the studio” – which remained unidentified in Millar’s story – wanted Gregory Peck.

The tragedy for movie buffs is that, like Welles’ proposed adaptation of Conrad’s Heart of Darkness, the world wouldn’t get to see a Batman feature until the campy 1966 movie with Adam West. The tragedy for comic-book aficionados is that our big shot at respectability, when the genre was so young that people hadn’t made up their minds about us yet, was blown because of an argument over something as small and petty as casting. The movie could have been a disaster, it’s impossible to say, but the production notes, the treatment and the first draft I’ve been reading over the last couple of weeks makes me think this could have redefined cinema. This could have been his masterpiece and, who knows, might have launched the superhero renaissance we’re undergoing at the moment with quality cast and directors two or three generations earlier. John Ford following up “The Bat-Man” with a “Captain America” movie? Cary Grant and Katharine Hepburn as Clark Kent and Lois Lane? In some weird, parallel reality these things are DVDs collecting dust on our video-shelves and Clint Eastwood is wishing some studio would give his funny, old Unforgiven cowboy flick half a chance at the next pitch meeting.

Yes, you wonder what could have been if Welles’ had been able to put a veneer of respectability on the comic book genre, which has suffered from low public and self esteem since birth. Sounds almost too good to be true, doesn’t it?

Well, guess what?

Comic Books Resources later revealed here that the whole thing was a hoax perpetrated by Millar, complete with a Batman costume sketch by his friend Bryan Hitch. Welles, the perpetrator of one of the 20th century’s greatest hoaxes, would have been proud.

I know I swallowed it. I mean, I saw the production sketches! Well, a sketch! It had to be true!

However, beyond my gullibility, it did make sense. Welles was a young Turk in those days, a Hollywood outsider who wasn’t tied down to what was “respectable”. The guy was the Shadow, fer cryin’ out loud! As Millar pointed out:

It’s no secret that Orson Welles had a love of the pulps, having voiced The Shadow on radio and conceiving the illustrious War Of The Worlds scam, but what’s lesser known is his love of comic-books right up to his death in 1985. What’s especially startling is that his appreciation for the medium was no real secret and he even wrote an article for The Village Voice in 1973 raving about the Denny O’Neil/ Neal Adams “Green Lantern/Green Arrow” book (The Real Counter-Culture Lives Here) and even attending, with no real fanfare, one of the earliest New York comic conventions organised by Phil Seuling.

So it was just smoke and mirrors. Still, you have to wonder… what would have an Orson Welles-directed Batman movie been like? Sirrus79 wondered that, too, and decided to stitch together a two-part “extended trailer” of 1947’s smash hit The Bat-Man, with Orson Welles as Bruce Wayne and The Bat-Man, Edward G. Robinson as the Penguin, Marlene Dietrich as Cat-Woman and Mercury Theatre veteran Joseph Cotten as Commissioner Gordon.

Part 1

Part 2

Posted in bulldada, From Sean, Happy Media | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment »

Vampire Bat

Posted by shanoah on February 20, 2010

Yep, freedom of speech is important. (Which is probably why nothing in this post is work safe) Mind, I couldn’t get much into Immortal Techniques song because he kept rapping over the same few seconds of Jona Lewie’s Stop The Cavalry.

As I really like that song, I found it really distracting. I kept expecting Hey, Mr. Churchill comes over here to say we’re doing splendidly to kick in at some point.

Of course, freedom of speech is very important in music (and in other places). I know Frank Zappa would agree with me (1 2). And we’d never get artists like Wesley Willis singing what the voices in his head dictate, whether it is about how he murdered your family, the way he kicked Spidermans ass, or even about Vampire Bats,otherwise:

Of course, the big stuff about censoring music when Frank Zappa was around largely was talking about songs like Prince’s ‘Darling Nikki’, because it talked about masturbation. And we can’t have that, right?

Posted in A Thought from a Sticky Mood, Batty, Blogs, bulldada, fnord, From Shanoah, Happy Media, I Tunes Not U Tunes, I'm probably going to hell for this, Not Work Safe, Wenches For Your Toolbox | Tagged: , , , , | 1 Comment »

2-14-10 Hentai Valentine’s Day!

Posted by Sean on February 14, 2010

We interrupt this David Byrne and Brian Eno theme to bring you a catgirl being eaten out.

Do we even have to mention that this isn’t work safe?

From Hime Kishi Lilia or Princess Knight Lilia. Courtesy of MarcusSaide.

Posted in cats, From Sean, Happy Media, Not Work Safe, Wenches For Your Toolbox | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments »

Slouching Towards Bethlehem

Posted by shanoah on January 24, 2010

One of the more inappropriate segues from the Birthday Massacre would probably be Joni Mitchell. And you know, I’m not sure how, but I just realized that even with the number of Joni Mitchell songs I’ve played here, I never got around to playing my absolute favorite Joni Mitchell song.

As such, here is the song she adapted from the poem “The Second Coming“, by W. B. Yeats, “Slouching Towards Bethlehem“.

Turning and turning
Within the widening gyre
The falcon cannot hear the falconer
Things fall apart
The center cannot hold
And a blood dimmed tide
Is loosed upon the world

Nothing is sacred
The ceremony sinks
Innocence is drowned
In anarchy
The best lack conviction
Given some time to think
And the worst are full of passion
Without mercy

Surely some revelation is at hand
Surely it's the second coming
And the wrath has finally taken form
For what is this rough beast
Its hour come at last
Slouching towards Bethlehem to be born
Slouching towards Bethlehem to be born

Hoping and hoping
As if by my weak faith
The spirit of this world
Would heal and rise
Vast are the shadows
That straddle and strafe
And struggle in the darkness
Troubling my eyes

Shaped like a lion
It has the head of a man
With a gaze as blank
And pitiless as the sun
And it's moving its slow thighs
Across the desert sands
Through dark indignant
Reeling falcons

Surely some revelation is at hand
Surely it's the second coming
And the wrath has finally taken form
For what is this rough beast
Its hour come at last
Slouching towards Bethlehem to be born
Slouching towards Bethlehem to be born

Raging and raging
It rises from the deep
Opening its eyes
After twenty centuries
Vexed to a nightmare
Out of a stony sleep
By a rocking cradle
By the Sea of Galilee

Surely some revelation is at hand
Surely it's the second coming
And the wrath has finally taken form
For what is this rough beast
Its hour come at last
Slouching towards Bethlehem to be born
Slouching towards Bethlehem to be born

Posted in Action Jesus, Blogs, bulldada, fnord, From Shanoah, Gettin' Yer God Freak On, Gooey Gummi Goodness, Happy Media, I Tunes Not U Tunes, Islamocommunifeminihomofascists | Tagged: , , , | 1 Comment »

1-20-10 Blu and Dave Ellis – COMBO

Posted by Sean on January 20, 2010

Continuing our themeless theme, here’s a collaboration between the art collective Blu and Dave Ellis called COMBO. Is it grafitti? Is it animation? Is it demolition? Who cares?

And yes, it does loop. Once.

Oh, and if you think you’ve seen Blu here before, perhaps you have.

Courtesy of notblu. Well, I’m glad they cleared that up.

Posted in FREAKIN' IMPORTANT MAN, From Shanoah, Happy Media | Tagged: , , , , , , | Leave a Comment »

1-18-10 The Little Tiger on the Sunflower

Posted by Sean on January 18, 2010

Continuing our themeless theme, here’s a beautiful cartoon from Russian animator Leonid Nosyrev, The Little Tiger on the Sunflower, released in 1981. A short interview with Nosyrev about this film can be found here.

BTW, this takes place near in the Ussuri River region in northeast China, near the Russian border.

Courtesy of perennial One Neat Thing a Day favorite Niffiwan (blog here).

Posted in From Sean, Happy Media | Tagged: , , , , , | Leave a Comment »

1-15-10 Simon’s Cat – Fly Guy

Posted by Sean on January 15, 2010

We continue our themeless theme today with another Simon’s Cat short (site here) by Simon Tofield: Fly Guy. Anyone who has or once had a cat can probably sympathize with poor Simon.

And if you think you’ve seen Simon’s Cat here before, perhaps you have.

And while we’re on the subject of egwegious wittle Bwitish kitty cuteness… here’s a bemusing little short featuring Cyriak Harris‘ cat entitled, appropriately enough, Meow Mix. Again, if you think you’ve heard that name here before… again, perhaps you have.

Posted in cats, Funny, Happy Media, Uncategorized | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , | Leave a Comment »

12-24-09 Christmas Eve, or “You’ll Shoot Your Eye Out, Kid”

Posted by Sean on December 24, 2009

It’s Christmas eve, which means all the good little Christian boys and girls are eagerly awaiting Santa Claus, and the all the good little non-Christian boys and girls are eagerly awaiting getting squat this year. Many of the good little non-Christian boys and girls are also poor and going to go to hell when they die, I hear.

But, hey, that’s what you get for worshipping the wrong god, kids.

Speaking of Santa Claus… unless I miss my guess, TNT is going to be having their “24 Hours of A Christmas Story” marathon tomorrow. Now, I like A Christmas Story. However, 24 hours of anything can you sick of it real fast.

And that’s a shame, because A Christmas Story is possibly the best anti-Christmas movie made until Bad Santa. Parts of it are very sweet, but other parts…

Well, just check out Ralphie’s magical visit to Santa.

Courtesy of CQblogger.

Posted in From Sean, Funny, Happy Media | Tagged: , , , , , , , | 1 Comment »