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  • Who is us?

    Sean Daily is an English major from New Jersey now living in Las Vegas, the Other City of Lights. "I consider 'Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas' to be comfort reading, I like the al pastor tacos at Tacos Mexico and I count among my literary influences the Chainsaw from 'Doom'. 'RRRRRR! You don't like that, do you, Mr. Undead Marine! RRRRRR!'"

    Shanoah Alkire is our Discordian at large. "Born in Santa Cruz, I grew up in Grass Valley and the Bay Area, and now lurk in Las Vegas. My literary influences include Ray Bradbury, Lewis Carroll, and Douglas Adams. I also program as a hobby, and currently maintain the Gtk port of Angband. You can find a rather old bio of me here."

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5-26-09 My Favorite Movie: Star Trek/Wars

Posted by Sean on May 26, 2009

We interrupt this John Lennon train (yet again) for this brief semi-coherent message.

Okay, I just saw Star Trek (you know, the one that, according to the Onion, Trekkies hate because it’s fun and watchable?). So what does this particular Trekkie think of it? Let me put it this way:

The Enterprise has transporters. Said transporters can apparently pluck two people falling at terminal velocity out of the air. I saw them pull off this handy little trick myself.

But ask them, just five minutes later, to beam up five people standing stock still on solid rock, and suddenly they’re not up to the task. Suddenly beaming up with said transporters is slower than molasses in Reykjavik… slow enough, in fact, to kill off the mother of one of the main characters.

This is not Trekkie tech nitpicking. This is a big fucking plot hole. It’s also manipulative and, if you catch it, pisses you the hell off, like it did me.

Need I add that the whole movie is full of shit like this?

Star Trek, it turns out, is just like a rollercoaster – fun while you’re on it, kind of dumb on reflection. And that’s what this latest incarnation of Star Trek is: just another dumb summer movie. It’s got big special effects that you’ve probably seen before, loud music and characters and plot that, really, could have been lifted from a hundred other Hollywood movies. Even the Enterprise is characterless: the bridge looks like one of Bill Gates’ wet dreams, and the rest of the ship looks like a municipal water treatment plant.

But, really, this YouTube movie, courtesy of FernandaGollo, says it so much better than I could. So, aside from asking Hollywood to please please please put down and step away from their copies of The Hero With a Thousand Faces, I give the floor to My Favorite Movie.

We now return to the John Lennon train. Or maybe we don’t.

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