One Neat Thing a Day

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  • Who is us?

    Sean Daily is an English major from New Jersey now living in Las Vegas, the Other City of Lights. "I consider 'Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas' to be comfort reading, I like the al pastor tacos at Tacos Mexico and I count among my literary influences the Chainsaw from 'Doom'. 'RRRRRR! You don't like that, do you, Mr. Undead Marine! RRRRRR!'"

    Shanoah Alkire is our Discordian at large. "Born in Santa Cruz, I grew up in Grass Valley and the Bay Area, and now lurk in Las Vegas. My literary influences include Ray Bradbury, Lewis Carroll, and Douglas Adams. I also program as a hobby, and currently maintain the Gtk port of Angband. You can find a rather old bio of me here."

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2-2-09 WE’RE GONNA HAVE A BIRTHDAY PARTY!

Posted by Sean on February 2, 2009

Wish I could continue throwing the wolf underneath the fairy tale train, Shanoah. But I don’t wanna. It’s my birthday, and my favoritest person in the whole entire universe, Anton Szandor “Creepy Bald Son of a Bitch” LaVey, says I can do WHATEVER I WANT ON MY BIRTHDAY… kind of like the birthday boy in your neat thing today.

This, of course, is from that 20-megaton brain bomb The American Astronaut, which I love dearly for reasons that I can’t quite explain. Let’s put the first scene in perspective. This is after American Astronaut Samuel Curtis (writer/director Cory McAbee) brings a cat to a bar on Ceres, which looks suspiciously like a VFW hall, and trades it for the fetus of a girl hooked up to a rockabilly 45, then is accosted in the can by a pair of high-steppin’ voyeur hillbillies in the employ of the Blueberry Pirate, who needs Curtis in order to win the big dance competition. It’s also after Curtis stops off on Jupiter and gives the rockabilly girl fetus to the owner of the mines there in exchange for The Boy Who Actually Saw a Woman’s Breast (Greg Russel Cook), who regales lucky sex-starved miners with tales of the gentler sex (“It was round and soft. Now get back to work.”).

But it’s before they encounter the space barn carrying the microgravity atrophied silver miners from the early 20th century and their retarded kid dressed up like the Gimp.

And you wonder why I’m the way I am.

Anyway, Dr. Hess – Rocco Sisto, who, as he’ll remind you multiple times during the movie, is having a birthday – shoots the Jupiter miners with a gun that turns them into piles of dirt, leading to this… interesting episode.

Yes, Hess is trodding through the cremated remains of the miners. You are seeing that right… unfortunately.

Anyway, Hess goes after Curtis and TBWASAWB, leading to this timeless piece of cinema. And let me tell you, you can have your David Mamets and Neil Simons and Barry Levinsons and Joel Schumachers. This, to me, is movie dialogue in its highest form.

American Astronaut footage courtesy, once again, of phlegmuffin.

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One Response to “2-2-09 WE’RE GONNA HAVE A BIRTHDAY PARTY!”

  1. […] 2-2-09 WE’RE GONNA HAVE A BIRTHDAY PARTY! […]

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