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    Sean Daily is an English major from New Jersey now living in Las Vegas, the Other City of Lights. "I consider 'Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas' to be comfort reading, I like the al pastor tacos at Tacos Mexico and I count among my literary influences the Chainsaw from 'Doom'. 'RRRRRR! You don't like that, do you, Mr. Undead Marine! RRRRRR!'"

    Shanoah Alkire is our Discordian at large. "Born in Santa Cruz, I grew up in Grass Valley and the Bay Area, and now lurk in Las Vegas. My literary influences include Ray Bradbury, Lewis Carroll, and Douglas Adams. I also program as a hobby, and currently maintain the Gtk port of Angband. You can find a rather old bio of me here."

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12-19-08 Krampus

Posted by Sean on December 19, 2008

Ooooooo… That kid… You are an evil one, Shanoah. I mean, I already knew you were an evil one, Shanoah. But still… Oooooooooooo…

No, Virginia, Santa isn’t bringing a pretty little dolly to your house. I think that little “incident” with the rope, the can of butane and the cat may have something to do with this. But I do know who Santa is sending you this Christmas, Virginia – one of his Germanic employees with horns and hooves and a serious body hair problem (they hired him to fill their ADA quota) named Krampus!

Since it’s only two days to the Winter Solstice and I consider myself to be something of a pagan, I thought I’d post something pre-Christian. According to Monstropedia, Krampus started out as a fertility spirit (he has horns, after all) while, according to Rotten.com, he’s a Christian-era bastardization of Loki, the Norse trickster god. Krampus is mostly an Austrian thang, though you can find him sporadically throughout the rest of Europe.

And now?

He’s a fetid hellspawn who, oddly enough, is one of Santa’s little helpers. Since he’s a demon, Krampus naturally enough works the “Naughty” (aka “Fun”) list. He carries a bundle of branches for spanking naughty children. The really incorrigible cases (like that kid in your post, Shanoah… ooooooo…) get stuffed in his sack and carried back to Hell with him. And on Dec. 5, the day before the Feast of St. Nicholas, people in Austria dress up like Krampus, have parades and scare the living shit out of kids.

Rawk.

Sadly, we don’t have Krampus parades in the United States (although you can order your own adorable little plushy Krampus right here). So we’ll just have to make do with this commercial that G4 made lo these many years ago.

Courtesy of gunhin888.

Thanks to WFMU‘s Ken for putting me on Krampus’ scent.

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2 Responses to “12-19-08 Krampus”

  1. […] 12-19-08 Krampus […]

  2. […] Actually, it’s “Krahm-poos”, according to this commercial. […]

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