10-6-08 – Just leave the $700 billion and… walk… away

Well, surprise, surprise. The stock market tanked. Again.

The good news is that the price of crude dropped below $90. That means that, when our world crumbles, our cities explode and only those mobile enough to scavenge, brutal enough to pillage survive, you probably won’t see this guy hitting you up for a couple gallons of the juice, the precious juice.

Courtesy of, appropriately enough, TheLordHumungus.

Actually, this guy kinda looks like what Wall Street needs right now: “Hey! You guys start unfreezing short-term loans, or I’m gonna get all Sturgis Motorcycle Rally on your asses! Don’t make me sic my smegma crazies and gayboy berserkers on you!”

But what if Washington (gasp!) doesn’t do the right thing, and the Humungus (played by John McCain) starts LARPing the Book of Revelation in your neighborhood? Never fear, for that steely-eyed survivalist Dave Barry and his blog Left Behind-R-Us has exactly what you need to fend off a hopped-up motorcycle barbarian with the seat disturbingly cut out of his leather pants. [1]

Courtesy of happymel1107.

It’s got a safety. A laser sight. And an entry light. Just the kinda cool steel companion that’ll put the fear of God into any roving band of motorcycle degenerates or Republican campaigners, eh?

The Humungus: There has been too much violence. Too much pain. Just leave the oil and… walk… away.
You: Oh yeah?
Guys with Mohawks: Ow! Ow! Ow! Owie!
Smegma Crazies: Look! That rubber band gun has a laser sight and an entry light!
Gayboy Berserkers: Yeah! We better get out of here! Those things can raise a real welt!

[1] Not to mention a mohawk haircut that probably needs more petroleum-based products per day than his motorcycle.