8-7-08 I Think I’m Paranoid

Funky music, huh? Just like that faaaaaahn song from John Rich called Raising McCain. That was just sloppin’ over with soul. My favorite part was when Rich gave the one-fisted Black Power salute and started chanting, “No Justice, No Peace. No Peace, No Justice”. Aw yeaaaaaaaah…

(That was much funnier if you imagined me talking like Barry White)

Before I get started, I just want to point out the posts with the top two view counts for yesterday (as of 5 p.m. PDT):

• 5-2-08 Otaku of the world, rejoice! – 12
• 8-5-08 Silly Season – Obama and McCain just got pwned… by Paris Hilton – 10

In other words, Jessica Rabbit got more views than Barack Obama, John McCain and Paris Hilton… which for some strange reason gives me hope for this nation.

Anyway, you may have noticed that my posts have recently gotten more vitriolic and hysterical. I’m seeing far-flung conspiracy where no one else sees it! Why, could it be than I’m… paranoid?

Well, remember that old saying: “Just because you’re paranoid doesn’t mean that they’re not after you.” I hate to say it but, in today’s world, paranoia isn’t just healthy, it’s a survival trait.

And while you’re at it, remember that other old saying: “Never pass up an easy theme for a blog post.”

Now, modern psychologists recognize two stages of pathological paranoia. First, you think you’re paranoid, as the research team Garbage uncovered in their seminal study I Think I’m Paranoid, from the book that will probably win them the Nobel Prize for These Kinds of Things, 1998’s Version 2.0.

Courtesy of luislm7.

Needless to say, if you think you’re paranoid, then… you are paranoid! Dr. Ozzy Osbourne and his team Black Sabbath discovered this during double-blind studies involving the cutting edge use of psychotropic drugs and biting the heads off of live bats. This led to a landmark paper entitled, simply, Paranoid, published in the 1970 issue of (what else?) Paranoid.

Courtesy of Alit43.

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