One Neat Thing a Day

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    Sean Daily is an English major from New Jersey now living in Las Vegas, the Other City of Lights. "I consider 'Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas' to be comfort reading, I like the al pastor tacos at Tacos Mexico and I count among my literary influences the Chainsaw from 'Doom'. 'RRRRRR! You don't like that, do you, Mr. Undead Marine! RRRRRR!'"

    Shanoah Alkire is our Discordian at large. "Born in Santa Cruz, I grew up in Grass Valley and the Bay Area, and now lurk in Las Vegas. My literary influences include Ray Bradbury, Lewis Carroll, and Douglas Adams. I also program as a hobby, and currently maintain the Gtk port of Angband. You can find a rather old bio of me here."

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Posts Tagged ‘Politics and Other Things In Which I’m Not Qualified’

3-9-10 Why I Will Never Ever Ever EVER Be Able to Take the Tea Party Seriously

Posted by Sean on March 9, 2010

Me, too, Shanoah. I, too, am politicked out. Still, I gots enough juice left in me to share this one little tidbit: why I will never be able to take Tea Party seriously.

As you know, many media outlets often refer to members of the  Tea Party movement as Tea Baggers, which of course instantly brings to my mind this scene from John Waters’ Pecker [1] (starring a criminally underemployed Eddie Furlong, by the way).

Not Work Safe, just because it’s John Waters. Courtesy of nessthing.

Jesus, that’s scary, ain’t it? It’s almost as good as the job the Republicans did for the word “liberal” – almost.

[1] Which should tell you something about my mind.

Posted in fnord, From Sean, Funny, Not Work Safe, Politics and Other Things In Which I'm Not Qualified | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment »

3-4-10 Satan/Beelzebub: Why Vote for the Lesser of Two Evils?

Posted by Sean on March 4, 2010

Neither do I, Shanoah. I will never regret voting against Jesus/Mary McCain/Palin.

Problem is, that’s a lot of what my vote for Obama was. I stumped for the guy, I voted for the guy, but in the end my vote was largely a vote to keep John “Bomb Bomb Bomb Bomb Bomb Iran” McCain and Sarah “I’m a Yooper Even Though I’m From Alaska, You Betcha!” Palin out of the White House, not a vote to put Obama in it.

Fourteen months in and, even with majorities in both Houses, Obama hasn’t done a whole lot that impresses me. True, a lot of it was picking up the pieces from Bush and, quite frankly, a year of nothing is a refreshing change from eight years of Jesus-Christ-that-idiot-did-what-now. Still, all the changey hopey stuff that we heard about during his campaign is starting to turn into a whole lot of the same old thing.

You’re not supposed to hold your nose when you go to the polls. Maybe that’s what you have to expect, but it’s not what you’re supposed to expect.

I may be asking too much of the American voting system, though. I mean, the only candidate that I wouldn’t have serious reservations about voting for is me, and you don’t want me to be president. These would be just a few of the policies during my remarkably brief administration, which would end either in military junta or armed rebellion. [1]

  • I would replace the expensive, pointless, unethical and boring War on Terror with a War on People Named Ralph.
  • I would make Spock my science advisor and get very cranky when I’m told that he’s a fictional character.
  • I would demand that the Vatican make me Pope and then let them know, with a subtle use of nuclear weapons, what will happen if I am not made Pope.
  • I would invite Osama bin Laden and Rush Limbaugh to fight it out in a Texas steel cage death match (“Two fascist extremist ideologies enter, one fascist extremist ideology leaves.”). Sarah Palin would be the between-rounds card girl. [2]
  • I would replace the National Anthem with the Misfits’ Mommy, Can I Go Out and Kill Tonight.
  • I would make Jedi the national religion and then use my mad Force choke skeelz on anyone who even mentions “separation of church and state”.
  • I would replace the F-22 Raptor fighter jet with Veritechs and get very cranky when I’m told that they’re fictional, too.
  • I would balance the federal budget by selling Arkansas… that is, if anyone would even buy it.
  • I would replace standardized tests in our schools with “Hentai or Not Hentai?”.
  • I would frantically summon my cabinet to my SitRep Room at 3:30 a.m., then pull out a copy of Left Behind and, with a voice slurred into incomprehensibility by cheap gin, yell, “My God, have any of you read this shit?”
  • And if I don’t have a SitRep Room then dammit I’ll make a SitRep Room. It will be very Wii-intensive.
  • My bank bailouts would consist of bailing bank officials out of a plane at 50,000 feet. I might even give them parachutes.
  • My Middle East policy would consist of burning a million tons of chronic in the West Bank, then airlifting in 10 million pizzas and two million XBoxes.
  • All Americans would be forced to adopt fake Indian names. Mine would be Runs Naked Through the Woods.
  • Anyone, and I mean anyone, who tries to make more courtroom porn like Law & Order or forensics porn like CSI will earn himself a come to Jesus with the new U. S. Attorney General, Jigsaw from the Saw movies.
  • And yes, I will get very cranky when I hear that Jigsaw is also a fictional character.
  • The national language would be Huttese. Ho ho ho ho…

Barring that, I guess I could vote for these guys. Having them in charge would rawk.

Courtesy of pipes90.

[1] Dave Barry much?

[2] Try and get that image out of your mind.

Posted in From Sean, Funny, Happy Media, Politics and Other Things In Which I'm Not Qualified | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment »

3-1-10 Public Enemy – Shut ‘Em Down

Posted by Sean on March 2, 2010

Y’know, Shanoah, I work in the middle of Dittoheadland, where war is peace, ignorance is strength, freedom is slavery and ‘Bama-bashing is the national sport. To give you an idea of what I have to put up with, one of my co-workers claimed just last week that the reason American fighter pilots are cocky SOBs is Obama. (Don’t ask) My office mates eagerly attack, pick apart and dissect our high epidermal melanin president and cackle like hens at his every misstep and misfortune.

As the Resident Levelhead, I try to keep my cool. I bite my tongue when my co-workers claim that they don’t trust Obama and then fail to give me coherent reasons as to why he’s lost their trust. I try not to launch into a tirade on democracy and the voting process and the rapacity of the modern GOP when I hear claims that the Democrats are acting like “gangsters” in Congress.

I keep my faith in Barack Obama.

For the most part, I succeed.

And then the bastard pulls shit like this.

And I say, “God damn it.”

Politicians like that may remind you of child-molesting clowns, Shanoah. Me, I just want to shut ‘em down.

Courtesy of dougpark17.

And yes, you’ve heard Shut ‘Em Down on this bat channel before. I suspect you’re going to be hearing it here again, too.

Posted in fnord, From Sean, I Tunes Not U Tunes, Islamocommunifeminihomofascists, Politics and Other Things In Which I'm Not Qualified | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments »

2-25-10 Frank Miller. The Dark Knight. “Holy Terror, Batman!” ‘Nuff Said.

Posted by Sean on February 24, 2010

UPDATE (3-9-10): I just realized something: I forgot to mention that the bolded text in Frank Miller’s NPR editorial were my emphasis, not his. Sorry about that.

Oh no you didn’t, Shanoah.

You didn’t just write a post linking the Dark Knight and the most misunderestimated Warrior on Terror™ of our times.

You did.

Sigh.

* * * WARNING WARNING WARNING * * *

* BLOG RANT ALERT * BLOG RANT ALERT *
ELEVATED LEVELS OF INCOHERENT AND IMPOTENT VITRIOL DETECTED

My neat thing today is neat only in the way that watching a drunken bum fight is neat: Batman is joining the War on Terror™! Or he will be! Maybe!

Frank Miller announced way way way back in 2006, at San Francisco’s WonderCon, that Batman will be fighting Al Qaeda in a book titled, or possibly titled, Holy Terror, Batman!

He went on to tell the Daily Telegraph: “It is, not to put too fine a point on it, a piece of propaganda – Batman kicks al-Qa’eda’s ass.” [1]

To which I responded with: Oh.

Fucking.

Goody.

This is old news to you comic otaku, of course, but it’s the first thing that popped into my head when I heard Dubya and Batman mentioned in the same breath; we here at One Neat Thing a Day don’t worry ourselves over pesky things like being current or even relevant. I’m not even sure if I believe this story, if it’s a viable project, or if it’s just like Orson Welles directing The Bat-Manjust another hoax. It’s just too wonderful to be real.

Now, you might think that Batman is going to hunt down and destroy Goldstein I mean Al Qaeda for, say, collapsing the Twin Towers and killing thousands of Americans. Hauling supposedly unstoppable and uncatchable criminals before a magistrate (or a criminal psychologist) is Batman’s thing. Done right, with equal parts John le Carré and Operation: Wrath of God and with Batman’s mad ninja skeelz, his aversion to taking life and his… issues, it might actually be a cool read.

If you thought that, then you are a dumbass.

See, Batman’s a superhero, and superheroes are apparently all about creepy, ultimate good/blackest evil, never-the-twain-shall-meet dualisms. You know! Like a comic book! Or G. I. Joe! So Batman kicking Al Qaeda’s collective ass isn’t just about justice or even about justice at all! It’s about Fighting the Good Fight and Ensuring A Better Tomorrow For Our Children™ and Freedom™ and Democracy™ and making sure Sauron doesn’t get the One Ring!

Actually, no, it’s about kicking ass.

Mr. Miller laid out the philosophical underpinnings for Holy Terror, Batman!, not to mention a healthy dose of self-hatred, in a NPR editorial entitled That Old Piece of Cloth that aired, you guessed it, on Sept. 11, 2006:

I was just a boy in the 1960s. My adolescence wasn’t infused with the civil rights struggle or the sexual revolution or the Vietnam War, but with their aftermath.

My high school teachers were ex-hippies and Vietnam vets. People who protested the war and people who served as soldiers. I was taught more about John Lennon than I was about Thomas Jefferson.

Both of my parents were World War II veterans. FDR-era patriots. And I was exactly the age to rebel against them.

It all fit together rather neatly. I could never stomach the flower-child twaddle of the ’60s crowd and I was ready to believe that our flag was just an old piece of cloth and that patriotism was just some quaint relic, best left behind us.

It was all about the ideas. I schooled myself in the writings of Madison and Franklin and Adams and Jefferson. I came to love those noble, indestructible ideas. They were ideas, to my young mind, of rebellion and independence, not of idolatry.

But not that piece of old cloth. To me, that stood for unthinking patriotism. It meant about as much to me as that insipid peace sign that was everywhere I looked: just another symbol of a generation’s sentimentality, of its narcissistic worship of its own past glories.

Then came that sunny September morning when airplanes crashed into towers a very few miles from my home and thousands of my neighbors were ruthlessly incinerated — reduced to ash. Now, I draw and write comic books. One thing my job involves is making up bad guys. Imagining human villainy in all its forms. Now the real thing had shown up. The real thing murdered my neighbors. In my city. In my country. Breathing in that awful, chalky crap that filled up the lungs of every New Yorker, then coughing it right out, not knowing what I was coughing up.

For the first time in my life, I know how it feels to face an existential menace. They want us to die. All of a sudden I realize what my parents were talking about all those years.

Patriotism, I now believe, isn’t some sentimental, old conceit. It’s self-preservation.
I believe patriotism is central to a nation’s survival. Ben Franklin said it: If we don’t all hang together, we all hang separately. Just like you have to fight to protect your friends and family, and you count on them to watch your own back.

So you’ve got to do what you can to help your country survive. That’s if you think your country is worth a damn. Warts and all.

So I’ve gotten rather fond of that old piece of cloth. Now, when I look at it, I see something precious. I see something perishable. (emphasis mine)

We all went crazy on Sept. 11, 2001, I think. We acted like wounded animals. It didn’t matter who got hurt, so long as someone did. That’s natural and expected.

The problem is that a lot of people didn’t snap out of it. Mr. Miller appears to have been one of them.

So what’s he going to do to Help Our Country, Warts And All, Survive?

He’s going to write a comic book where a grown man in a bat costume beats the living shit out of some Third World guys with beards.

I guess it shouldn’t surprise me. After all, Mr. Miller is the man who brought us the spectacle of 300, which pitted the slave-owning and despotic free and democratic Spartans against the swarthy invading hordes of Iran Persia.

But he’s got something better than 300 tanned, oiled, ripped and barechested Greeks chopping apart Arabs Persians in slow motion this time! As he told the Daily Telegraph: “Superman punched out Hitler. So did Captain America. That’s one of the things they’re there for.”

No, Mr. Miller.

Superheroes are about justice, helping the helpless, defending the defenseless and making this gravity well a better place to live in, not kicking ass. There is a difference, even if many people have forgotten that.

More importanly, though, Mr. Miller, Al Qaeda is not Hitler or Tojo.

Nazi Germany and her ally Japan were threats because they had some of the biggest armies and navies in the world, not to mention plenty of land, resources and subjects from several years of unrestricted empire building. Nazi Germany also had the most advanced weapons and military hardware in the world, at least at the start of World War II. Nazi Germany conquered most of Europe, and Japan most of the Pacific and much of Asia. Nazi Germany also gassed people and then stuffed them in ovens, and Japan raped Nanking and then raped women and called them “comfort women”. Both did involuntary medical experiments, used work-em-till-they-drop slave labor and killed millions.

Al Qaeda, on the other hand, has no expeditionary capability whatsoever. It has no navy. It has no air force. It has no way to land an army on our shores or parachute them behind our defenses. It doesn’t even have an army, unless you count a bunch of guys with AKs, mortars and improvised bombs (emphasis on the “improvised”).

The only reason we even care about Al Qaeda, besides the aforementioned dragging them before a magistrate,  is because they might get their hands on a nuke or launch a terrorist attack inside the U. S. – and quite frankly, stopping those are jobs for our spies and our police, not our soldiers.

‘Course, this is a moot point because we’re not even fighting Al Qaeda. We’re fighting the Taliban in Afghanistan and a bunch of extremely pissed-off Iraqis in Iraq. (Yes! We’re still in Iraq! And still fighting in Iraq!) We don’t even know where Al Qaeda is. They might be in Afghanistan. They might be in Pakistan. They might living above your Aunt Tessie’s garage. We don’t know, thanks to George W. Bush invading Iraq and then giving his dad the finger. All we know is they’re out there, we can’t find them and we can’t touch them.

But there are other scary motherfuckers with beards out there! Oh goody! Let’s bomb them!

This, of course, reaches to the heart of why Batman fighting Al Qaeda creeps me out. I look at the U. S. Armed Forces – the most advanced, most ass-kickingest combined military force in the world – and then I look at the people they’re fighting. I don’t see Nazi hordes. I see a couple brown-skinned guys with AK-47s, the Weapon of Choice for the fighter on a budget.

Yes, they’re religious fanatics and drug dealers.

They’re also dirt poor and fighting us with whatever piecemeal weapons they can scrounge – and fighting us in their backyards and their homes, I might add.

This is your “existential threat” to America and Freedom™ and Democracy™, Mr. Miller? And why do I suddenly feel like I’m in Star Wars and our soldiers are wearing white plastic armor and saying things like “rebel scum”?

Why do I feel like I’m on the side of the Empire and not the rebels? Why do I feel like one of the bad guys?

Can you answer me that, Mr. Miller? Can you answer me why I would support a idle multi-billionare ninja with more Wonderful Toys than James Bond and his own personal War on Terror™?

Almost everything about the invasions of Iraq and Afghanistan and the War on Terror™ and post-2001 McPatriotism in general makes me feel greasy and icky and corrupted. But happy Mr. Miller doesn’t appear to have a problem with any of that, which is why he’s treating us to yet another spectacle: a rich playboy with father issues [2] beating up  poverty-wracked brown-skinned people.

There’s also something cheap and exploitative about this project. As Mr. Miller told Rotten Tomatoes in 2007: “It’s bound to offend just about everybody.” Even the title (or one of its titles) is cheap, like the campy 1960s TV series that it takes inspriation from: Holy Terror, Batman!

This is what’s happened to our heroes. Once, they stood for something. Now they’re direct-to-DVD from Troma.

Actually, I shouldn’t drag Troma into this. When they offend people, they do it right. They make pointless, gratuitous, drop-dead funny sex and violence. They don’t make propaganda for The Man.

Don’t get me wrong. I still think that he should publish Holy, Terror, Batman! [3] As he told the Daily Telegraph, “It’s an explosion from my gut reaction of what’s happening now, a reminder to people who seem to have forgotten who we’re up against.” Writing can be therapeutic, and if Mr. Miller was as traumatized as he seems by Sept. 11, 2001, then more power to him. If nothing else, it’s honest.

Still, if he wants therapy, maybe he should follow the advice of fellow Batman author Grant Morrison [4]:

Batman vs. Al Qaeda! It might as well be Bin Laden vs. King Kong! Or how about the sinister Al Qaeda mastermind up against a hungry Hannibal Lecter! For all the good it’s likely to do. Cheering on a fictional character as he beats up fictionalized terrorists seems like a decadent indulgence when real terrorists are killing real people in the real world. I’d be so much more impressed if Frank Miller gave up all this graphic novel nonsense, joined the Army and, with a howl of undying hate, rushed headlong onto the front lines with the young soldiers who are actually risking life and limb ‘vs’ Al Qaeda. (emphasis mine)

For that matter, I wish all the “real men” and “patriots” who support the War on Terror™ and the Eternal Struggle Against Elemental Evil would follow Morrison’s advice. Maybe they’d get an idea of what war is really like. Maybe they wouldn’t support it so thoughtlessly and relentlessly next time.

Maybe there wouldn’t be another 9/11.

That’s what would make the world a better place.

[1] The Daily Telegraph adds: “In this compendium of all his statements, bin Laden does not name Batman personally, but attacks America as ‘the Great Satan’ for exporting a culture of pornography and violence.” Nobody does sarcasm like the Brits. Nobody.

[2] George W. Bush?

[3] I also think that Troma should adapt Holy Terror, Batman! into a movie. Seeing a terrorist doing a Troma Meltdown after being punched in the face by Toxic Avenger Batman would make my life complete.

[4] I also love Morrison’s take on Batman: “…I want to see a Batman that combines the cynic, the scholar, the daredevil, the businessman, the superhero, the wit, the lateral thinker, the aristocrat. He terrifies the guilty but he has great compassion for the weak and the downtrodden and will lay his life on the line for anybody who’s in trouble. He’s a master of yoga and meditation who has as much control over his body and his feelings as any human. He has a wider range of experiences than most people will dream of in ten lifetimes. This is not a one-note character! So, while I won’t pretend we all live on Sunnybrook Farm, I don’t think its appropriate – particularly in trying times – to present our fictional heroes as unsmiling vengeance machines. I’d rather Batman embodied the best that secular humanism has to offer – a sour-faced, sexually-repressed, humorless, uptight, angry, and all-round grim ‘n’ gritty Batman would be more likely to join the Taliban surely?” (again, emphasis mine) [6]

[5] Yes, I like footnotes. [6]

[6] You already knew that? [7]

[7] Oh, good.

Posted in bulldada, fnord, FREAKIN' IMPORTANT MAN, From Sean, Islamocommunifeminihomofascists, Politics and Other Things In Which I'm Not Qualified | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 3 Comments »

5-2-09 My Little Armalite

Posted by Sean on May 2, 2009

In other words, things were more complicated than people like to let on. Funny how the world is like that.

Anyway, I don’t know how comfortable I am with doing an IRA fnord song. The fearful American part of me, the part that listens to Rush Limbaugh fnord, screams “Terrorist! fnord Terrorist! fnordwhen it hears those three magical letters. And again, the Troubles are one of those sticky, complicated things on which it’s hard for me to come down on one side or another.

But you know what? I hate Rush Limbaugh fnord. And this blog hasn’t been drawing enough fire, either.

So here’s My Little Armalite, celebrating the fine products of the Armalite Corporation, which were used by the Provisional IRA fnord (“Provo company”) against the British Army and the Royal Ulster Constabulary fnord (“RUC”).

Courtesy of carnmore123456789 (shit ye I do not).

Posted in From Sean, I Tunes Not U Tunes | Tagged: , , , , , , , | 1 Comment »

5-1-09 Mavis Staples – Hard Times Come Again No More

Posted by Sean on May 1, 2009

I wouldn’t exactly call the Great Famine an act of God, Shanoah. The reasons are a little hard to explain, so just stay with me here.

First off, most of the land in Ireland was owned by about 8,000 landlords who – surprise, surprise – were English descendants. They rented out their lands to tenant farmers who, in turn, rented out their land to subistence farmers called cottiers.

And cottiers had it good, let me tell you. In return for tilling the tenants farmers’ land, the cottiers got the priceless privelege of tilling their own teeny tiny plots of land. They weren’t paid, mind, but they could grow their own food and – crazy, I know – keep it.

Well, turns out that the potato is perfect for growing in teeny tiny plots of land. I read somewhere that you could feed six people for a year on just an acre of potatoes. Whether this is true or not, I don’t know. What I do know is that, by 1845, when the famine broke out, most of the rural population was living on potatoes and buttermilk… and nothing else.

So let’s break it down. You have an entire population relying on one crop for its subsistence and, once the famine breaks out, a distant government that devolves all responsibility for dealing with the disaster to local government and the free market. (Sound familiar?)

As with most disasters, the gun was cocked long before the Great Famine. All the potato blight did was pull the trigger.

Again, sound familiar?

You’re right in one thing, though, Shanoah. The oppressed rarely manage to blow up the Death Star or kill the wicked Sheriff of Nottingham. A certain exchange from the film adaptation of V for Vendetta comes to mind:

“What do you think will happen?”
“What usually happens when people without guns stand up to people
with guns.”

So, yeah, treasure the few times when the oppressed have managed to pull it off.

This song, Hard Times Come Again No More, was written in 1854 by Steven Foster. It was a popular song back during the American Civil War, when about half the United States had a collective temper tantrum because the mean old Fedril Gubmint wouldn’t let them own human beings as property. This version is sung by Mavis Staples, who pretty much sang the soundtrack for another struggle in the South, the civil rights movement.

The civil rights movements is one of those few times when the rebels did manage to blow up the Death Star. And they did it without firing a shot, too. Not bad.

Courtesy of Ellis Creative (site here).

By the way, Shanoah, I just thought of this: Guess what the English band was playing when Lord Cornwallis surrendered to the nosepicking Continental Army at Yorktown. Why, it was The World Turned Upside Down.

Of course, this may not be true; I doubt an English military band would play a protest song against the English. That would sort of be like the boys in the NYPD choir singing Cop Killer. And like most things of this sort, I don’t care. A line from The Man Who Shot Liberty Valance comes to mind: “When the legend becomes fact, print the legend.”

Posted in I Tunes Not U Tunes, Politics and Other Things In Which I'm Not Qualified | Tagged: , , , , , | 1 Comment »

4-15-09 A Letter to Tax Protesters and Boston Tea Party Goers Everywhere on Income Tax Day

Posted by Sean on April 15, 2009

Dear Teabaggers:

I must admit that I’m confused. George W. Bush ran up record federal deficits that would make even Ronald Reagan blush (another look here) and ruined the economy in the progress… but you found your voice only when the darkie Democrat got into office?

AP via Yahoo!:

“Frankly,I’m mad as hell,” said Des Moines, Iowa, businessman Doug Burnett, one of about 1,000 people, many in red shirts declaring “revolution is brewing,” at a rally at the Iowa Capitol. “This country has been on a spending spree for decades, a spending spree we can’t afford.”

Again what I said with the pickaninny president. You’ve been mad for decades, but only now do you protest?

In Connecticut, police estimated 3,000 people showed up at the state Capitol in Hartford and another 1,000 at a rally in New Haven. Many carried makeshift pitchforks and signs with messages aimed at the Democrats who control Congress and the White House.

Why not white hoods and nooses? And I understand those burning crosses work a treat, too.

Be prepared to explain your answer.

Love,

Sean Daily

Posted in From Sean, Islamocommunifeminihomofascists, Politics and Other Things In Which I'm Not Qualified | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment »

2-24-09 Chris Rock – The War in Iraq, the War on Terror, the war for your mind and other related subjects

Posted by Sean on February 24, 2009

Speaking of Not Work Safe Political Commentary, Shanoah, here’s something Chris Rock had to say about Iraq War: First Blood, Part Two.

Courtesy of Alikante.

But wait a minute! Surely the war has gotten better since this was aired, right? To which I respond: oh yeah! The war was, like, totally worth it! I’m not sure if the 90,000 Iraqi war casualties, 4,251 U. S. war dead (176 by self-inflicted wounds) and 31,010 U. S. war wounded wounded would agree. But hey, can’t make an omelet without breaking a couple thousand eggs… or spending $600 billion (but hey, that’s, like, not even one bank bailout – chump change, really).

Posted in fnord, From Sean, Funny, Happy Media, Islamocommunifeminihomofascists, Not Work Safe, Politics and Other Things In Which I'm Not Qualified | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment »

1-23-09 Wait a minute. We just elected a BLACK president, didn’t we?

Posted by Sean on January 24, 2009

I don’t know why it took me so long to realize this. In fact, it just hit me last night.

We have a black president now, don’t we?

I mean, yes, I know Barack Obama’s black. But it took me until two days after the inauguration for it to sink in.

I mean, less than a decade after the United States essentially declared Eternal War on Evil Terror™ against Islam and the mud peoples of the Earth Island, we up and elected a president with a non-standard epidermal melanin concentration… and with a middle name of Hussein, no less.

Something is happening here. But you don’t know what it is, do you, Mr. Rove?

That got me to thinking about the much-lamented Bloom County. You Bloom County fans are nodding your heads already, because you know exactly where this is going.

Back during Jesse Jackson’s presidential run in 1988, divorced dad Tom Binkley was suffering through his monthly existential crisis. “I’m sorry…” he whimpered, curling into a fetal ball of white liberal guilt. “I… I just don’t see him as the leader of the free world. Please forgive me… please…”

The next two days’ strips are an interesting analysis of American politics. But why am I telling you this? Ken Krayeske at The 40-Year Plan was kind enough to scan them.

Bloom County - Courtesy of the 40-Year Plan

Bloom County - Courtesy of the 40-Year Plan

Remember, this was written just a short 20 years ago. And back in the heyday of the Reagan years, what Frank says about the first black president being a conservative makes sense. The question is, does the conventional wisdom of then hold up now? That’s actually a bit hard to say.

Campaign trail Obama voted for telecom immunity and said he’d send troops into Pakistan to hunt for terrorists, despite the fact that Pakistan is, you know, our ally. And his Secretary of State Hillary Clinton certainly has a johnson [1] for invading Iran. People who said that Campaign Trail Obama was a socialist didn’t know what the hell they were talking about. He was sometimes to the right of neoconservative George W. Bush.

Ah, but how an election changes things. In his first three days on the Job, President Barack Obama [2] has ordered the close of the Guantanamo detention center and a 120-day suspension of legal proceedings there and has reversed Bush’s ban on international aid to groups that perform or provide information on abortions. Oh, and he’s going to end the Armed Forces’ “don’t ask, don’t tell” policy, too.

So no, I don’t know if Reagan Era conventional wisdom applies to the Post-Bush II Era. All I know is that it’s a beautiful time to be alive.

[1] That was probably an inappropriate image.

[2] Gee, that still sounds lovely, doesn’t it?

Posted in From Sean, Islamocommunifeminihomofascists, Politics and Other Things In Which I'm Not Qualified | Tagged: , , , | 1 Comment »

1-21-09 Elvis Presley – Jailhouse Rock

Posted by Sean on January 21, 2009

Speaking of zombies, Shanoah… I ain’t nearly ready to give up Bush bashing yet. I’m still on the “anger” stage of my Bush withdrawal, and have been for the last seven or so years.

I know, I should accept that I’ve lost Bush and just move on with my life. I should give up all this unhealthy Bush-bashing for much healthier ‘Bama-bashing.

But I… I… I just can’t resist!

Anyway, now that President Bush is Former President Bush [1], we can throw his sorry ass in jail for committing and prosecuting war crimes, right? I mean, you do remember Iraq, right? Guantanamo Bay? Extraordinary rendition? Seven year-olds being held as enemy combatants? Waterboarding?

I know, I know, the chances of that happening are slim to none. But in a slightly better universe, George W. Bush is already singing this classic from Elvis Presley.

Courtesy of gaza45454545.

[1] Try saying that ten times. Feels nice, huh?

Posted in I Tunes Not U Tunes, Mailing List, Politics and Other Things In Which I'm Not Qualified | Tagged: , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment »

 
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