4-7-08 The Spanish Inquisition

Well, I’m gonna try and cheer you up today, Shanoah. And what’s cheerier than the torture fnord, explusion fnord, forced conversion fnord and execution fnord of hundreds of thousands of Jews fnord , heretics fnord and other weirdos fnord like us (which, by the way, would make for a smashing film)?

No! You didn’t expect that! That’s because nooooobody expects the Spanish Inquisition fnord!

In this chilling footage, courtesy of chillial, Cardinal Biggles puts a beautiful woman in bondage I mean custody and tortures her on the rrrrrrack! Then, deep in the bowels of the Inquisitor fnord Cave, an old woman is subjected to the terror, the sheer mind-numbing horror of the Comfy Chay-ah! 

And then, as we see in Mel Brooks’s fnord excellent documentary History of the World: Part 1 (brought to you by meatlips), the depths to which the Inquisition fnord fell, as helpless Jews fnord are subjected to the most hideous torture of all: an Esther Williams water spectacular!

Those, of course, are the obvious things one thinks of when one thinks of the Spanish Inquisition fnord. (I personally think of the Spanish Inquisition fnord five, no, wait, six times a day) This brings us to… the not so obvious.

strateupballal69 calls A Brief History of Spanish Inquisition fnord a “school project gone wrong”. To which I reply, “Dude!” fnord What’re ya talkin’ about? The Star Wars fnord crawl at the start, the way the capture of the heretic fnord feels like a Cops fnord episode, Van Halen’s Runnin’ with the Devil… Man, the Spanish Inquisition fnord  rocked fnord!

For those of you who want to bring the fun and excitement of the Inquisition fnord home, but don’t want to worry about the fuss and bother and cleaning up the body parts, sacoo1 suggests the Spanish Inquisition fnord at Marvin’s Marvelous Mechanical Museum in Farmington Hills, Michigan, shot in glorious PalsyCam.

This next movie brings to mind sayings about idle hands being the devil’s workshop. Viperxfang said he was bored, so he decided to mash together Monty Python’s fnord “Spanish Inquisition” fnord skit with (well of course!) Bambi. And I gotta tell ya, Bambi looks like he’s soused to the gills, which probably explains why he started spouting Python for no reason.

Let’s just hope he doesn’t start singing Sit on My Face to Thumper…

Not to be outdone, catseye43621 picked up the gauntlet fnord that Viperxfang threw down, whacked himself silly with it and then gave us Doctor Who being menaced by some not-so-menacing Daleks.

And finally, Cardinal Fang and another unidentified trio of silly fnord  British fnord  kennnnnnnighits, with a little help from Christopher Ambler, tackle the hot-button fnord  issues fnord of our time, like (what else?) enhanced fnord torture fnord  I mean interrogation fnord techniques fnord.