1-5-08 An innoculation against the coming spamstorm

I promised myself I would stop doing this. I promised I wouldn’t subject you to my highly dysfunctional and myopic political rantings. Lord knows the people that I love have suffered enough of that.

Then I came across this post at, ahem, the Free Republic weblog, posted right after Barack Obama took the Democratic caucus in Iowa. It was such an extraordinary mix of hubris, delusion, racism, sexism, jingoism and cold fear sweat – sort of like a neo-Nazi on PCP – that I just had to respond.

It’s really an extraordinary document and a sickening glimpse at what we can expect this election cycle – every lie you’ll hear, every spam hit piece that’ll clog up your e-mail, every last fragment of flag-waving and chest-puffing. All you need is something about Obama not saluting the flag and you’ve got the Nutbar Trifecta. The only thing that softens the blow is its unintentional hilarity. To mangle Walt Kelly, “We have met the enemy, and we has fallen over laughing.”

Free Republic, by the way, is a swaggering, macho little weblog, but it’s the swagger and machismo of a seven-year-old schoolyard bully – and probably with a dick to match, too, now that I think about it. And it looks like it was designed on Netscape 1.0. I wonder what Vincent Flanders at Web Pages That Suck would have to say about them, hm?

Anyway, I’ve put my response below the “Read the rest of this entry” link so that you don’t have to subject yourself to it if you don’t want to. Just to give you an idea of its contents, though, the title is Is Hussein Obama the weakest Dem for the General election? (How much you want to bet that it the headline would have been Is Hillary the weakest Dem for the General election if Hillary had won?)

So, the question is, do you take the red pill, and do I show you how far the rabbit hole goes?

Your What the FUCK for 1-5-08

Today’s What the FUCK is from that seemingly bottomless well of what-the-fuckery: my old employer Unicahome. Designer Christophe Pillet decided that his sorta-retro-cool Sunset chairs were not (insert designerspeak here) enough, that they lacked a certain… something. So he started torturing his children’s pet rabbits, as he was wont to do when confronted with an intractible problem, and he happened to look down at the furry, twitching bodies in the table vise, slapped his head and shouted, “Eureka!”

Actually, I can’t say that he tortures rabbits. (Elle magazine speculates that he tortures kittens) But that’s the only thing that I can think of that explains this:

A chair upholserted in mothafuckin’ mink fur. According to FurKills.org (who aren’t at all biased), it takes about 60 female mink to make a full-length mink coat. I’d say that a full-length coat would drape quite nicely over this chair. Given that there are four models (including a child’s version! I shit you not!) and a total of 108 chairs in this “limited edition”, my highly inexpert calculations reveal that over 6,000 cute, loveable (smelly, vicious) little minks gave their lives to satisfy Pillet’s… vision.

Kinda reminds me of the Iraq war, for some reason.

You really should visit Unicahome and take a gander at this. I wrote the copy for it - after staring at the screen for about a quarter hour making sounds similar to a puppy in distress, that is. But if you don’t want to click through, here it is:

you want luxury? how about a chair upholstered in mink? and we don’t mean “mink-colored” or “mink- patterned”.

we mean a chair upholstered in real mink fur. as in “fur coat”. as in “peta getting all hot and bothered”.

yeah. that mink.

this “limited edition 2007” version of christophe pillet’s sunset chair is available in silver-laminate white mink with a stainless steel base or in in natural mink or brown plated mink with a varnished base. there’s even a children’s version in lilac mink with a lilac base (although whether anyone’s child is good enough for a mink fur chair is a subject open to debate).

I was wrong about kids not being good enough for these chairs, though.

They were definitely made for Mike Huckabee’s son David.